I was unaware that, as a Republican, I had declared a “war” on children, Sesame Street, the poor, etc. I’m still confused how I, as a woman, am declaring a war on my own gender, but I digress. However, since declaring a fictional “war” is the thing to do, I’m making a declaration here and now. I’m firing the first shots in what I’ve dubbed the “War on Political Correctness.” A sampling of my intended skirmishes is below.
1. Climate Change (n): A term used to explain any sort of weather phenomenon that can be exploited by Al Gore. Government regulation usually follows. (Synonym: Global Warming.)
2. Workplace Violence (n): Term used to label any sort of violence perpetrated by Islamic extremists shouting “Allahu Akbar.” These episodes are not affiliated with extreme religious sentiments; rather, they are secular and rare. (Synonym: Act of Terror)
3. Undocumented (adj): The name for people from other countries, who through no fault of their own, were “crossed” by the border. Saying “they crossed the border” or “they broke the law” is racist. (Synonym: Illegal)
4. Holiday (n): A secular celebration designed to preserve the feelings of progressive atheists while maintaining every American’s “right” not to be offended. (Synonyms: Christmas, Hanukkah, Ramadan)
5. Tolerance (n,v): The acceptance of all left-leaning ideas regardless of any hint of radicalsim or moral corruption. Right-leaning ideas, however, are not to be tolerated. Rather, conservatism is labeled as “bigoted.” (Synonym: Intolerance)
6. Social Justice: A touchy-feely term designed to act as a chameleon on our psyches. It means what you want it to mean. Often is synonymous with redistribution of wealth. (Synonym: Marxism)
7. Reproductive Right (n): An imaginary right invented by liberal feminists like to ensure that abortion is universally available. Also serves as Sandra Fluke’s excuse to beg for free birth control. (Synonym: Social Liberalism)
8. Economic Patriotism (n): No definition provided. Used to make tax hikes sound warm and fuzzy. (Synonym: Whatever the heck Barack Obama wants it to mean.)
9. Pro-Choice: The right to choose to murder your unborn child. Not applicable in cases of diet nannyism. (Synonym: Pro-Abortion)
10. Fair Share: The amount of money paid by wealthy job creators designed to punish them for their success. Often used alongside “class warfare.” (Synonym: Whatever those in power determine as “fair.”)
I’m throwing out the dictionary of liberal “politically correct” terms. In my newly declared War on Political Correctness, my weapon of choice is rhetoric; accurate, forceful rhetoric. The influx of political correctness into our daily lives has taken the teeth out of the English Language. Instead, we’ve become a nation so afraid of offending someone else that our language has become more vanilla than Ned Flanders. We cannot progress without an accurate exchange of ideas and if we’re allowing the left to determine our narrative with their own language, we’re bound to lose. Thus, I urge you to put the backbone back in our language. Rhetorical cowardice is not becoming.
Originally Posted on the Hot Air Greenroom